Imaginary Friends & Spirit Guides

 

Hello Mystical Creatures,

My heart sings out to you, and I acknowledge you for making the journey to live here on planet Earth.

Life is magical.

My intention for writing these words is for you to feel a sense of deep relaxation, connection, and love.

As I type this, I am connecting to my spirit guides, and the Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones of the Akashic Records.

I ask you now to envision if you had an imaginary friend, what would they look like?

Even if you don’t see anything right now, you can still feel the presence of the light beings, guardian angels and loved ones surrounding you. I have been inspired by the notion of imaginary friends that we had when we were young, and the connection to spirit guides that we see as adults, and seeing how they are interconnected. If you have any insight or ideas about this, I would love to see your comment below!

When we are young, we know that we are all God’s children and we are connected to Source. If you feel triggered or put off by the word God, I understand. But maybe you still feel that there is something greater than yourself, like a web of energy that connects everything in existence, in the entire Universe together.

If you want to know for yourself, that you are an infinite being, it is very possible. The flexible Akasha is your playground, and there are infinite paths for you to arrive at that realization.

Of course, places like Burning Man and transformational festivals are nests for learning and connecting to the infinite. But the key is to take what we’ve learned and find ways to create sacred space in everyday life.

How can we do this?

Of course, meditation, Kundalini yoga, Ayahuasca ceremonies, playing in nature and finding like minded friends are all great ideas. As they say, your vibe attracts your tribe. Opening your Akashic Records or giving yourself Reiki while floating in a float tank is also a great way to connect with your own Divinity, Higher Self and soul’s purpose on Earth. Halcyon Floats is one of my favorite places to go when I want to feel a sense of Heaven on Earth. If you live in Philadelphia, or truly anywhere, and want to create safe spaces for healing, understanding, conscious community, transformation, I am whispering to you!

Through practice and patience, you can become a Reiki Master and what that means is that you master your own energy. The third level of Reiki (Reiki Master) is also called Shinpiden or “mystery teaching” which has been said to explore the mystery of God’s love.

If you are an empath, introvert, or highly sensitive person, I can relate to you! As a sensitive person, I feel that Reiki is and has been a great path and tool for navigating the waters of life. So if you feel excited, or inspired there are a few steps you can take. You can get personal guidance and healing with me 1 on 1 in a private session at Learn Reiki Philadelphia or the Healing Arts Collective. Or you can begin your Reiki journey by deciding to take a Holy Fire Reiki class with me (message me for more details). Or you can come out to the next Reiki Share at Healing Arts Collective on July 25th, to meet me and get a taste of what Reiki is like. So, with that being said, I thank you for taking the time to read this message and I am sending you love and healing energy right now!

 

Sincerely,

Victoria

xoxo

 

Unlimited Abundance Success Story

So I have been tuning into the Unlimited Abundance program with Christie Marie Sheldon.

There are 24 common abundance blocks that Christie helps people to release or “delete, uncreate, and ‘destory’ across all time, space dimension and reality.” She has inspired me immensely from the first time I heard her voice. So I decided to purchase the Unlimited Abundance program and listening and re-listening to all of the recordings of the live group sessions. I can’t say I’ve hit my ultimate goal of where I want to be financially yet, but this program has definitely helped me to shift my mindset, which is setting the foundation for my future abundance. And I have already begun to see some of the fruits…

So the story goes:

I am working at Coda for a private Superbowl Party.

I remember having the thought, or visualization of someone handing me a 100 dollar bill as a tip- at one of my jobs. Maybe even this event specifically.

A man coming to get his jacket comes up and asks me “do you have change for a $100?”

I counted what I had in the tip jar and it was $55. He gave me the $100 and said keep the rest! So it wasn’t a $100 tip technically, but the thought/vision still came true in a way. So, $45 is a great tip for one coat! Then after that, I started racking in the $5s. Which was better than the usual $1 tips I get.


To give you a taste of what I have been learning, some of the key points that Christie explains are:

Money is a neutral tool that can be used in different ways, and for different things in life. It is not good or bad, but it depends on what you do with it!

Having a plan is a good idea– to get you moving in the right direction– but not to be stuck or dead-set on the outcome. I recently bought The Inner Guide Planner for 2017 and it’s been helping me to gain clarity!

One of the modules “Clearing Indecision” also helped me greatly. It seems that for most of my life- Parents, Pre-School, Elementary school, High School Teachers, College Professors, bosses- have been authorities that I would look up to, try to please, and follow the rules and get good grades. But in reality, there is no right or wrong, and I am continuously learning to follow my intuition and inner guide.

Another thing she said was “There are wealthy and poor people in every profession- there are wealthy plumbers and poor plumbers, there are wealthy musicians and poor musicians.” One thing that many people ingrained into me was that “you can’t make money as a musician” which is just a negative detrimental belief. It is one thing to want fame at the level of Lady Gaga, but it is another thing to have a healthy, abundant life, affording food and a nice place to live and be a performing artist or musician.

I would often question whether I was making the right decisions. Feeling stuck. She also says that Source or God loves you unconditionally. There are no mistakes!

Another topic that I have been exploring in my life lately is that of “Satan” or “The Devil”. In New Age, spiritual, energy worker lingo, many people talk about “entities”. So I wondered if these were somehow connected to the “Devil” I had heard about growing up. When I was younger, I hated haunted houses and hayrides, and I wouldn’t go near the Halloween mask aisle in stores. This may be because I was taught as a Christian to be afraid of the Devil and a place called “Hell”. I was attracted to the book Positive Magic by Marion Weinstein because I wanted to move forward in my exploration of fearlessness in this life, as well as in other dimensions. I’ve always had a feeling that everything is ultimately good and pure at the Source. And since I’ve begun this healing journey, I understand that Love is truly greater than fear. But this book helped give me some intellectual stimulation to support these newfound beliefs.

 

“Satan is a Western Piscean Age phenomenon. In earlier pagan times including Greek, Roman and Egyptian, the gods were neither all good nor all bad. They were glorified human and/or animalistic personalities with special powers and recognizable failings. Osiris, the main pagan god of the underworld, was both admirable and vulnerable, the underworld over which he presided was not a bad, judgemental place, in fact, before the Piscean Age there was no “hell” and no “purgatory”.

And since there was no one good external God, there was no one bad external Anti-God.

Really examining all of these old, maybe unconscious beliefs and thought-forms which formed in my childhood is a beneficial thing! So back to the topic of entities and spirit attachments. I do believe that these things exist, although I’m still learning exactly what they really are and how to better work to clear them. Sometimes I feel that they can even just be lower emotions and thought forms that need to be released. Or maybe more that I have yet to learn. Here is one useful article from Reiki.org:  Understanding and Releasing Spirit Attachments

Alexis Petrin has also been a part of this recent burst of inspiration in the direction of living my dreams and abundance in the present moment.

All Those “Shoulds”.
All of those “shoulds” 
   vanished
when I finally heard
    the sound
 of my own 
VOICE

-Alexis Petrin,  TheMessyMasterpiece.com

When I arrived at the Supernova Soiree; Sacred Voice Activation edition, there was a piece of paper that said “I WANT-” at the top. She told us to write down whatever we wanted, no matter if we thought it sounded impossible or if we had no idea how it could possibly come true. She explained that the only thing stopping these things from popping into your reality is that you haven’t yet claimed them yet. Once you claim it, it’s yours.

The first thing on my list was “To move to California.” This is something that I’ve wanted to do for years! Back in middle school, obsessed with skaters and people in bands, knowing that California was ‘the place to be’, shopping at Hollister, watching the Hills and Laguna Beach, I dreamed of living in sunny California where you could ski and go to the beach in the same month.

Now, I want to go there for many new and different reasons overall, but the long-held desire is still there. The hub of “transformational” & conscious music festivals like Lucidity, Symbiosis, Oregon Eclipse, Burning Man. My dream school for my Master’s Degree- California Institute of Integral Studies. The MAPS headquarters. Esalen. Joshua Tree and Mount Shasta. Many eco-villages. I am not even dead set on living in the state of California, but I know I feel called to move out west one day, to be in closer proximity to these things that spark my “breadcrumb trail of excitement” as Bentinho Massaro would say.

 

I came across this video Abundance & Relationship to Money: From Hippie to Happy – Bentinho Massaro which features the magical Dante. (Who, by the way, is hosting an upcoming Cacao Spirit Channeling Immersion in Philadelphia) And I can really relate to some of the things he went through with money. I especially loved the explanation of “hippies” being on the high horse because they are better than the rest of society, but down in the dirt because they are above money and other regular necessities. I really feel that I want to make a difference in the world, and sometimes that I am ‘different’ from most people, and feel like an outsider at times. I know that I truly want to live an abundant life of eating fruit and healthy raw vegan food every day, but sometimes I have these beliefs that creep in saying that I will be taking food away from others if I get to have all of the fruit I want-Since I don’t even live in an area where fruit is grown. I sometimes feel like, why do I deserve abundance when people are starving? Can anyone relate to this? Or have any advice to convince me that there is true abundance available to all people on Earth? (If so, Comment below!)

But I also feel the great beauty of all of life. And I know that the more I can tap into the frequency of abundance myself, the more joy, love, and abundance I can spread to others I meet along my journey.

Thank you and I hope to see you soon!

Love & Light,

Victoria

 

 

You Can Create Your Own Symbols!

For the longest time, many clients would ask me for feedback after the session. I would often say something very vague like “I felt a lot of energy in your chest”. Or even just “I’m not sure”. But recently I have been trusting my intuition and inner voice a lot more, as well as becoming more confident in the ability of reiki to channel and flow through me during a session. I have also been holding and working with my aqua aura crystal to aid in communication.

 

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Aqua Aura 

 

I would often hear more experienced healers talk about receiving messages or symbols. A teacher that I highly respect and admire is Danielle Stimpson of Learn Reiki Philadelphia. I most recently took her class Shamanic Reiki, where we learned some ways of using gentle, non-invasive Shamanic techniques that she received from her Guides, as well as created on her own based on her many years of training and experience. One of the other topics we touched on in the class was Symbols. We learned a few new symbols to practice on ourselves and others. For example, one of the symbols we talked about was from Seichim, and another was from the Magick of Reiki by Christopher Penczak. I know that the Reiki symbols are sacred and powerful, and I treat them with respect. And I knew that there were many other powerful magical symbols out there as well. One of the things that Danielle said that really made me feel empowered was “You can create your own symbols”. For a while, I didn’t really feel like any symbol of importance was there for me to draw. But still having this knowledge and empowerment in the back of my mind was beneficial.

So, during my most recent session for a female CEO, I was tuning into any thoughts or images that popped into my mind’s eye in the process. When I got to her left hip, I saw a clear symbol that I had never seen before.

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Feminine Empowerment

This is, pretty much, what the symbol looked like. When I brought this up at the end of the session, it turned out to relevant to what the client was going through in her life. I described the symbol and she said “Hm, kind of like ovaries?” and I said “yes!” I said that it seemed to represent feminine/ female power. Working in a male-dominated field, she said she could use a dose of this in her life, as I’m sure many women could, in the few months since the recent election. This symbol appearing to me served as a gateway to having a meaningful healing conversation with my client after the session. I later realized that this also happened on International Women’s Day, which made the symbol feel very serendipitous and synchronistic. I can’t guarantee that new symbols will pop up every time I give a reiki session, but this turned out to be pretty magnificent, and I would love for it to happen again in the future!

Love & Light,

Victoria

Does it matter what you think about while giving reiki?

I just watched this video and I agree with mostly everything that the video recommends!

The one part that I questioned was; “If other thoughts come up, simply brush them aside, bringing attention back to the Reiki energy.”

During my Level 1 class, my teacher said not to worry if you start to daydream or if your mind wanders during a session. He said that sometimes these can be the best sessions! My other teacher has said that it’s fine if your mind wanders, as long as you’re not thinking “I wish I wasn’t giving reiki right now” or something along those lines.

I find that when I am giving a reiki session, I will usually have thoughts about my own personal life. Sometimes my general outlook on life and my current circumstances will improve while I am giving. But I also think that I am keeping a certain level of awareness towards the fact that I am giving reiki, and intending reiki to flow. When I start thinking too much I do try to let go of those types of controlling or worrisome thoughts and refocus on the present moment. I usually find that the distance reiki symbol (HSZSN) helps me with this.

The other important thing to note is that thoughts and intentions do affect physical matter. This has been proven by the research of Dr. Masaru Emoto. He passed away in 2014 but his research and inspiration live on. More information can be found on his website: MasaruEmoto.net

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With all of this proof, it seems that thoughts and visualizations may be able to affect a client during a reiki session if they are directed strongly enough. So I do agree with the video that focusing on reiki does help increase the effectiveness of a session. But as I continue to practice being able to clear my mind and meditate and visualize, I know that there’s no need to worry about thoughts popping up, or letting my mind wander during a session.

So fellow reiki practitioners, what do you think? Does it matter what you think about while giving reiki? What has been your experience?

What are the Akashic Records? & My Defining Moment

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Lady Nada

I was selling singing bowls at The Mind Body Spirit Expo in April 2015, when I experienced my first metaphysical healing. I paid $40 for 1 minute, but it was well worth it. I thought about receiving the healing on my first day there, Saturday, but the healer, Art Gutkin, said, you have to be open to it, if you are skeptical it won’t work. As someone who had never experienced any kind of energy healing before, I was a bit skeptical or even scared. But I told him about the pain I had been experiencing in my back, and right shoulder, and he placed his hand on that spot. I could feel the energy streaming through my body, mind and consciousness. I let out some tears. And I could feel a sense of newness in my life.

Later in that same day, the lady I was working for received an energy healing from Mark Ingenito. After they were finished, he gave me a piece of black tourmaline, and said that I could hold it in my hand and say “Archangel Michael, please protect me from any and all negative energy”.  That was the first time I had heard of Archangel Michael in the modern sense. He also said to me, “You know you have good energy, you should learn reiki!” And that’s where it all started.

I am still eager to learn more about the Akashic Records, but I haven’t found a teacher in the Philadelphia area.

“The Akashic records are a compendium of thoughts, events, and emotions encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the astral plane.”- Wikipedia

I’m also excited to announce that I will be taking the Usui/ Holy Fire II ART/ Reiki Master Teacher Certification at The Prana House in West Chester, PA on February 17th, 18th and 19th. The teacher of the course reached out to me through my website to let me know about the course, and I expressed my interest. Once I started reading more on the Reiki.Org website, I felt the Holy Fire energy coming to me as I was reading. Of course this was just the beginning, but it was a sure sign that I should sign up for the class!

“It is also apparent that the Holy Fire, once ignited in the student, continues to grow in strength and vibration, cleansing more deeply and healing and empowering in ever more powerful ways.”- William Lee Rand

I missed my flight in Oakland…

Tuesday, September 6th~

I missed my flight at the Oakland airport, but luckily I was able to get a ticket for the next day for free. And maybe was Divinely timed & everything is perfect anyway.

I was stopped by some Christians that were preaching on the street. They asked if I needed any prayers. At first I said “No, I’m fine”.I had been listening to them preach from accross the street while waiting at the bus stop. And I was resisting hearing the unavoidable speeches and wishing I could get away so they wouldn’t try to recruit me or something. Then I realized my bus was on the other side of the street… The same side that they were on. I crossed the street and stopped at a to-go restaurant window and bought a coffee and a banana.

After I made my purchase, of course, one girl and one guy from the Christian crew approached me and asked if they could pray with me. I thought to myself, ‘well this is something I do anyway, so why not try it?’ They asked if they could place their hands on me and I said yes. The girl started praying to “the Lord God.” And yes I do believe in God. I also heard them talking about Jesus earlier in their preaching. and I believe in Jesus as an Ascended Master too. After missing the flight earlier that day, I felt a bit out of sorts. So I admitted I could use some divine assistance.

During the prayer, she said things like “Dear God, show this girl how beautiful she is. Clear away any past hurt. Help her live her life purpose.” I could really feel the energy, and my right hand shaking. Nothing she was saying seemed to go against anything I already believe in, or would truly ask for myself. Afterwards I mentioned that I practice reiki, and explained that it is a light touch hands on healing method. The girl had not heard of it, but the boy had! They asked for my phone number but luckily I could escape gracefully by saying that I live in Philadelphia.

 

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Doug’s #1 BBQ

With the help of Google Maps, I was able to find a picture of the exact location where this occurred.

The moral of the story is that, even though I no longer feel like Christianity is a religion for me (or any one religion), I realize that that doesn’t mean it should be for no one! As my family still identifies as Christian, I had been feeling confused about where I fit in the picture. At times I even felt guilty for being so directly connected to Spirit. But this instance in Oakland proved that there are some Christians that may be very connected to Spirit as well.

Once I arrived back home to Philadelphia, I attended the I Can Do It Conference put on by Hay House Publishers. I had planned on attending the Teal Swan talk on Sunday, but as I walked past the room for Kyle Gray, I felt very good, high vibrational energy. I felt something pulling me towards that room! (Not out of my control of course). But it was one of those moments where I know I was meant to go with the flow, and change what I had planned in my mind. He spoke of how he used to be a Sunday school teacher. Now he is a Psychic and Medium and Angel Communicator. He also explained that the Angels are the direct messengers of God, and they are available for everyone to communicate with. No matter your race, age, religion, sexuality or lifestyle. He also explained that angels are pure energy. The images we see of angels are human depictions that have been translated into our third dimension. That’s why one image of Archangel Michael may have blonde hair and another may have brown. This also gave me some clarity, as to my own connection with the angels, as it seems so far that I don’t SEE them, but I FEEL their energy. This may change in the future!

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Kyle Gray’s Website

Reiki and Sound in Philadelphia

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I am so excited to announce that I have a new space to call my own for a full day every week! Of course, it is my amazing teacher and friend Danielle Stimpson of Learn Reiki Philadelphia‘s space- but it’s “mine” for the day! Meaning I don’t have to worry that there won’t be space available if a client wishes to book. So friends, family, musicians, and anyone that wants some peace, relaxation and clarity- come on up to the studio!

 

Alcohol~A family favorite

As I am thinking about getting ready to go to a family wedding tomorrow evening, I am very excited to get dressed up, spend time with family, and eat nice vegan food that my Aunt was nice enough to request for me. But I am worried that I will be tempted to drink alcohol. As I am on the path of raising my vibration, I know that alcohol usually does just the opposite. But sometimes when it comes to dancing or awkward family situations, alcohol makes me feel “less shy”.

I am also going to Burning Man soon (my first time), and I know there will be many party favors! I’m excited, to be doing reiki on the playa for 4 hours everyday, but worried about whether having a drink or two will make me less of a clear channel for reiki. Of course there will be many other great indulgences there, like cacao, and I will bring my own kava. And maybe the energy will be so great that I don’t feel like I need alcohol.

I came across Rebecca Campbell’s website and saw a page called “Instant Guidance” so I decided to ask something along the lines of “should I drink alcohol tomorrow night?” The answer I received was:

A prayer for riding the wave of what is. Divine mother, may I see the beauty in every experience. May I grow to refrain from labeling things as positive or negative and simply ride the wave of what is. May I meet my challenges with a cheer, knowing that these are the things that invite me to discover new parts of me that until this meeting even I did not know were there. And so it is.

The past few times I did drink alcohol, it actually felt less appealing than it had in the past, maybe because I have discovered so many more natural ways of becoming high. So this message really helped me to ease up on myself. Whatever happens, I will learn from it, and I don’t have to resist or push things away. My goal for becoming vegan was to realize that I’m not saying “I can’t eat that”, but rather, “I choose not to eat that”. And that once I felt the powerful positive effects, I wouldn’t want to turn back. So in the past few weeks, especially when I was on family vacation, I ate a few non-vegan items. I ate a free cupcake from my job because it looked so good! I even ate a slice of pizza because it was also a free lunch at my workplace. But with that slice, I really could feel it weighing me down. So it’s more like a personal experiment, not a strict diet. Of course my ideal is to be 100% vegan, and one day I won’t feel the need to eat anything that is not vegan.

I admire people like Alan Pratt and Doreen Virtue, who say that they have not drank alcohol for many years. But it doesn’t help to resist or feel bad about myself in the process of raising my vibration. I love to party, and alcohol is the main “vice” that people will partake in at the wedding. Burning Man, I imagine, is a different story. But I do know reiki or spiritual teachers who partake in drinking “spirits” here and there. What is your opinion? (Comment below)

alcoholfree-spirit

 

 

Love & Light

-Victoria

The Simplicity of Reiki

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As a lover of all things having to do with metaphysical healing, I sometimes get caught up in thinking I need to know more or learn more and gain a new certification. Well of course, I love learning and I will continue to pursue new modalities as they come along. Or maybe I get caught up worrying about whether the healing I channel will be strong or significant enough for the receiver. I enjoy receiving unique, esoteric, sometimes intense and powerful types of healing sessions such as Marconics, the amazing Prema Birthing Healing that I received last week, Akashic healings and many more!

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Prema Agni

But yesterday morning I went to The Heart Casa in Ocean City, New Jersey for a Reiki and Crystal Bath session with my Mom. This was a birthday present for my mom. Even though she is not as much into this stuff as I am, she enjoyed it and felt very relaxed. The owner explained, reiki is a healing method from Japan. She did use crystals along with the reiki, as there are many beautiful and rare crystals in their shop. It was nice to receive a simple reiki healing and feel the subtle energy flow. One of the definitions of simple is “having few parts”. So it was nice to feel and experience the simple yet effective touch of reiki. And to remember that even though I am aware of and fascinated by many new techniques, reiki is my foundation.

After we got back from the session, I went to the beach and enjoyed the “Psychic Force Field” and healing properties of the ocean. On the beach, I was able to give a reiki session to a very close family friend. I had been wanting to give her a session for quite some time. She asked “Tori can you give me reiki on my neck?” And I said yes of course. Even though we were close to some other groups on the beach that were talking, I used the simple touch and focus of reiki. I started at the crown chakra and eventually got to her neck. She said it felt wonderful and after the session, she said she could feel the pain leaving her neck and going out the top of her head! It always feels nice when someone tells me things like this, as it reassures me that I am helping them in a great way.

As my teacher Danielle Stimpson always says, anyone can perform reiki. Whether you have been attuned or not, you can provide a loving intention and a light touch to a friend or family member. Of course the attunements help to refine and strengthen the energy flow. But, what do we do when we get a cut or stub our toe? We put our hands on it! It is the natural reaction.

I have struggled with the fact that some people don’t “believe” in reiki or that sometimes I just don’t feel like putting effort into explaining it to someone. But I spoke with another family friend (she is like my 2nd mom) about this. She said, any touch you give someone will help them feel better. She and her daughter gave touch to me, and it did help me relax. So this really opened up a new way of thinking about reiki. And even to simplify my own practice; “I am providing light touch to aid in relaxation and to help someone feel better”.

On Saturday I completed a 50 hour Thai Massage Level 1 and 2 Certification. It was challenging to learn this new healing art that’s very rooted in the physical, but also recognizes the subtle energy or “sen lines”. It is very complex with many different techniques and stretches to remember. I have always been interested in massage, so it was great to learn a style of massage that acknowledges the subtle energy of the body along with the importance intention behind the healing session. 13775350_567183326795143_151891903643703368_n

Na-a Na-wa Rokha Payati Vina Santi ; We pray for the one whom we touch, that illness will be released and happiness will follow.

We practiced every day for 7 days, with a short break on Wednesday afternoon. So it was a lot of physical exercise. I will continue to learn and practice Thai massage, but it was nice to go back to the simplicity of reiki where I can let my mind wander. While giving thai massage, I still have to think about what move comes next so it takes away from the flow. But one day, with practice, it can become a moving meditation.

While giving a reiki session, it is nice to focus on a symbol, but not to worry if my mind wanders to something different. And the movements just come by habit and intuition now.

On the last day of class, we gave our teacher a 5 minute session to show her our “touch” that we cultivated over the week. I Palm Pressed her legs and Thumb pressed the six points of her feet. Afterwards she said, “Woah, you have a lot of etheric energy! But it doesn’t feel as if you are coming from your hara. This work will help you.” I said thank you very much for the advice. In my head, at first, I felt a bit defensive of course, as I thought, well, I love my etheric energy and I am a reiki person… Does this mean I shouldn’t do reiki? But after letting that piece of advice and constructive criticism sit a bit, I realized that I can only become stronger as a healer. I watched two videos by Dr. Steven Weiss to gain some insight.

Rather than hoping they feel my energy and blasting them with my energy, it can become a conversation where I listen maybe even more than I speak. And hold the space for them to process their own healing. It’s not detached, but it’s not controlling either. I will continue to contemplate this piece of advice and integrate everything I have learned so far. But for right now, I am glad and proud of myself for how far I have come. Thank you for listening, I love you!

-Victoria

 

 

Experiencing Breathwork

This morning I attended a workshop at the lovely Healing Arts Collective, a place near and dear to my heart as it’s a place where deep healing occurs for me as well as the clients I work on. I am so grateful for the owners, Adrian and Debora, as well as my fellow practitioners and teachers there.

I am also grateful for Jeff Carreira for inviting me to the workshop and giving an introduction to the workshop. He opened the workshop with a brief silent meditation, which is what he is known for teaching. He explained his philosophy and method towards meditation; there is no method. Just let go, and whatever happens is what is happening. He also mentioned the idea of natural growth. He gave an example, babies turn into toddlers which turn into kids… and so on. Without self-help books or worrying whether their cells will develop correctly. (I still love self-help books). It’s just the natural growth that’s integral to life on this planet. It happens without trying. He also gave the example of a tree. A tree doesn’t have to try. It just grows and heals naturally. If it’s limb gets broken off in the storm, it keeps growing and healing. Unfortunately as humans, we don’t have the capacity to grow back our limbs (yet). But we do have the capacity to heal our emotional wounds and move past them. As Jeff gave this introduction, I was really excited for the possibilities of what might occur for me energetically during the class. He finished by saying that, natural growth will happen for all of us and it helps to remove and blockages that may be blocking or resisting that growth. And as I gave my personal introduction to the class as we all went around and introduced ourselves, I said, “I consider myself a generator, so I’m interested in the idea of natural growth and letting go.” I can still be a generator, as it’s part of my Human Design chart, but I can learn to use that to my advantage. So I am now focusing more on the idea of allowing the growth that feels right, and not pushing myself or being impatient with myself.

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Going into the class, I figured it might be similar to the breathwork I’ve done previously in yoga classes. I didn’t have a high expectation, which is a good way to be! But I can gladly say that the class exceeded my expectation. Jeff handed the workshop over to Michelle D’Avella to lead the breathwork portion. When she announced that she was from LA, I was very excited because I love California and I could tell she had that laidback LA vibe. She described the breathwork technique that we would be using for the next 45 minutes. A deep breath, half into the belly and half into the chest, then breathe out- all done through the mouth. She prefaced by saying that we might feel tingling in our hands or in our mouths, as this might be a sign of energy that is trying to move but we might be holding on to. She even made slight sounds with the breath. We started by following her guidance, then we could breathe at our own pace. I started to get a bit light-headed, and my mind was giving me some resistance to keep up with the breathing. I really did not think it would be this transformational, but it was! The breath is our life force energy, so it makes sense that moving it so vigorously and intentionally could be a great healing tool. The technique may seem simple, but it takes a good teacher to hold the space for this healing to occur. And Michelle was able to do that in a very compassionate way. She was also like a personal trainer, giving us the positive encouragement to keep up and keep going with the breathing. There were portions were I felt like I needed to take a break, as the emotions and feelings arising were so strong. But as the group kept going it was easier to jump back in.

I could feel some stuck energy in my knees, so I moved around a little bit, as Michelle said we could if we felt we needed to. I was also initially resisting the music, as the lyrics were triggering different emotions to arise in me. And the tears came out. And she comforted us, “It’s ok to cry. Let it out. Crying is where healing happens.” Usually I would expect peaceful music with no lyrics, like in a massage or reiki session. And lately that is most of the music I listen to, and music without lyrics. I think that in the past few years I have not been letting myself cry as much, or feeling like I shouldn’t cry as it may bring others down. But now I realize that crying is extremely healing and I’m thankful to have had that space today to be vulnerable in a group setting. I realized that the music was perfect, as it really was triggering (in a good way) different emotions for different people. Of course, everyone had their own individual experience. But it was also amazing to hear that many people had similar experiences as we shared at the end. 3 or more people said that they could feel their hands vibrating. And one other woman also said her hand felt stuck in a certain position at one point (as was mine). I did have an insight or realization about the deep love that I have for my father. As my hands were shaking, I thought about my father and his Parkinson’s disease. Lately as I see him cope with this disease in his life, I wonder where it came from and ways that he could potentially heal. I know there are many stories of miraculous healings from God and the Divine. But I also believe that many holistic therapies could aid him greatly. I wonder if it could be linked to repressed emotions. Anyway, I know he has to choose to heal himself and I don’t think he realizes that as a possibility. But I will give him unconditional love and support as much as I can.

In my own healing process, I recently released an “entity” that was on my back. And I am still healing that space, and I’ve noticed major changes and occurrences in the past week since that occurred. Some of these occurrences included drama and being lashed out at, and feeling like I am someone’s enemy because of something I did in the past. I had sex with a man, even though I knew he had a girlfriend in a monogamous relationship. Later on, I brought myself to tell the girlfriend, as it must have needed to come out of my subconscious. Of course they broke up. And now, months later, there is still sadness and anger surfacing and being directed towards me. I don’t blame them for this, as much as it hurts me, as blame is only resistance. And I can now accept this and understand this, as breakups really do hurt. They are hurt. I have apologized and I have learned my lesson. And there is nothing I can do now but have compassion for myself, and own my own feelings and pain.

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So, usually when I think of “Heartbreak” I think of times when I was broken up with, or I broke up with a significant other. But in this case, this involvement with this other couple has also affected me. I can’t stifle myself, but I am now practicing being more aware and cautious of who I choose to sleep with. I even knew from the start that something wasn’t right in that situation. But it’s in the past now. And the healing of heartbreak that occurred today and recently, was healing from many different instances that happened in the past. Most likely not just from that one situation. But it’s a paradigm shift that’s helping me get back in touch with my heart and my true feelings. Michelle knew that the hurting energy was coming from my heart and she placed her hands on my shoulders and head which helped me feel better. And today I truly feel that I love myself unconditionally.

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Overall it was a wonderful healing experience and I look forward to doing more Breathwork in the near future!

 

Love & Light

-Victoria