Dear Victoria, Free Your Mind!

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Article 13 – Universal Declaration of Human Rights

I am writing this letter to myself because I want to bring myself back into connection with Source energy and to my good feeling place. I am not writing about my problems so that I can feel bad about them, but so that I can take a step back and gaze down from a larger perspective. And to the readers out there, maybe you have gone through something similar. (Comment below if you feel me!)

“What you’re referring to as your pain, is simply an aspect of you. A version of you, at some point in time and space, that began to run an energetic distortion.” – The Pleiadians as channeled by Nora Herold

I recently saw an email in my work inbox of my part time job at a call center where I make $10.00 per hour. I received my paycheck today and I made $460.00. The email read; Screen Shot 2016-04-01 at 4.56.56 PM

I was ecstatic and emailed the person immediately. It is a part of my nature to want to have excitement, adventure and spontaneity in my life. I thought it would be wonderful to get paid $15 and come out with almost $500 after one week. I received an email today saying that I was accepted to be an actor in the performance and to return the contract and W9. I got overly excited and happy about my bright and exciting future and rushed home to get to my computer. I asked again if she had seen my previous email regarding my work schedule conflicts. She replied; You must make all of the dates or you can not participate. I started crying and feeling similar to when you are little and run to your room and slam the door and start crying into the pillow because your parents tell you that you can’t do something you wanted to do. I felt this angst toward my job in general. Thoughts were racing through my head of quitting and living the life of a freelance worker. But then I realized, I was the one that signed up for this job in the first place. I was the one that sent in my Resume and Cover Letter and accepted the position. I wanted to have a part time job so that I could focus on my other passions outside of the job; Reiki and Yoga. Of course, fears were also running through my head and thoughts of self-doubt. Fear that I will be stuck in this boring job forever, or that I will never make a real positive impact on the world.  Screen Shot 2016-04-01 at 5.08.16 PM

I took a deep breath and realized that I was placing the blame on external factors for making me feel upset or flustered; job, manager, lack of freedom, low pay rate… Yes these things are all things to be considered for the cause of my frustration, but all in all, I have to bring myself back to the good feeling place and back to my center. Sometimes, I also get flustered with decision making and the fact that “anything is possible”. And that I can create the life I desire. But I like to think that it’s a co-creation between myself and the Universe, as well as other co-creators. So I can try to ease up on every minute decision as if it will change the course of my life; ie. The Butterfly Effect.

The scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever.- Urban Dictionary

That then lead me to click on the definition of The Chaos Theory.

In physics, it’s a tad more complicated. It states all subatomic and nucleonic particles are all united under ONE force, not gravity, but a very powerful force which holds the very essence of protons, electrons and neutrons together. It branches out into every facet of our existence. Infinite correlation, no probability.- Urban Dictionary

This definition made me feel a bit more comforted, as it mentions “ONE force”, which I can relate to Universal Life Energy, or Source. My goal is to stay in alignment with Source as often as possible, and to become more in touch with my own intuition and to learn to follow my gut instincts. And to learn to say No to what is no longer serving me! It would be more fun to participate in the installation, than sit at my boring job. But it’s also nice to have that peace of mind to know that I can pay my rent, do a few things I love, and still have time to work on building my Reiki and Sound Healing business and clients. I could have stressed and asked my manager to make it work, but I’m already very thankful for the requests to be off that he has fulfilled for me.

In more exciting news, here are two of those events that I was able to gain amnesty for! :

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Free Your Mind Conference

I will be attending the FYM conference on Saturday the 16th. It was an expensive ticket, but this is one of the things that I don’t mind spending money on in order to further my career and life purpose.

 

Intuitive Development- Spring Series

I’m excited for the upcoming Intuitive Development-Spring Series with Alex DiFilippo at The Reiki School. I attended a few of the Chakra Balancing workshops with Alex in the fall, and the intuitive readings gave me great guidance and insight to things I may have never realized and life tools I never would have tried otherwise (notably Kundalini Yoga).

I love to watch YouTube videos from the greats like Ralph Smart and Teal Swan. Sometimes I compare myself to them or other spiritual leaders and wish I was further along the path to my dreams. But I always have to remember the quote from Preston Smiles “Stay in Your Lane”. The one good thing about my call center job is that it’s a step up from my retail job. I can actually drink coffee in between calls and use the world wide web to communicate or do research regarding my Divine Life Purpose or whatever interests me at the moment.

For now, I can let go and trust that, with my own perseverance and the Divine Order of the Universe, things will work out eventually.

Peace & Love

Sincerely,

Victoria

 

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Life~Transitioning Out of College

So, in the midst of watching this video by Ralph Smart, I started crying because of the pressure I feel from my family regarding my post-grad life. There is a lot of stress building up inside of me.

I have been noticing a trend where my parents tell me what they think I should do, or what they would prefer that I do. Lately I have been wondering if there is some deeper psychological reasoning behind this. For example, when I said I would like to be a massage therapist, my mom said, “you could just do that on the side, or for fun”. And when I spent the weekend supporting a Sound Healing Therapist at the Mind Body Spirit Expo, she said “Yes, you will get a job, but I’d rather you don’t sell bowls at a Flea Market.”

I do understand that my college education was worth a lot of money, and that my parents spent money to help put me throught it. But I wish they could be a bit more supportive of my true feelings. Or the idea that doing something I love will make me 100 times more successful. Anyway, the principle I was pondering has something to do with personal regrets, or personal wanting to “live vicariously through me”. I know that she wants me to succeed, but it seems that the advice she gives me is often coming from a place of pressure and worry rather than love and support. I hope I do not sound like a brat. I just want to aim my life in the positive, conscious direction. It is ok to recognize the things that upset me and try to think of a solution.

And my mom is not the only person that has been bothering me lately. My uncle (her brother) as well. He works for a large oil company and he is a very intelligent engineer. I love him, but I never say it because he has never said it to me. Also, he is very uptight and likes to interrogate family members sometimes. After watching this video though…:

I was feeling pretty good about my whole uncle situation. I was telling myself that he wants the best for me, but he always tells me to apply for 50 jobs, and that I should have already applied to 50 jobs by now. Well after watching the video, I learned that “we have the power to choose whether or not we want to invite this person into our temple, which is essentially, within ourselves.” So yes, I wholeheartedly agree and I felt very empowered when I heard this.

But on the other hand, everything that Ralph says is ideal, and I am slowly transitioning to new life principles and ways of living. But I guess I have to be a bit more patient. Right now I am kind of like a lost dog, because I am still under the financial wing (or paw?) of my parents. And since they helped me with my college education, I do feel the need to please them or satify them at least a little bit. I need to hear them out at least. — I am super excited to be starting this book called “You Are a Badass – How to stop doubting yourself and start living an awesome life” by Jen Sincero. In the Introduction she says “This is about getting mighty clear about what makes you happy and what makes you feel the most alive, and then creating it instead of pretending you can’t have it. Or that you don’t deserve it. Or that you’re a greedy egomaniacal fathead wanting more than you already have. Or listening to what Dad and Aunt Mary think you should be doing.”  As you can see, that last line really spoke to me.

I am also in an Intro to Eastern Philosophy class where we have recently covered the philosopher Mengzi. Mengzi believed that all people had essentially good seeds inside of them at birth, but it is a matter of a combination of nature and nurture (and even self nurture) that cause these seeds to grow. So, I always try to see the good in people that I come across in my daily life.

BUT it is REALLY HARD when it is my own family members, and I feel like I do not really belong. When I went to a Tantra Wisdom workshop called Free the Emotions a few months back, I asked the teacher why she came here from California. She said that she came here to take care of her dying mother. And meanwhile, she was also doing her work. I had mixed feelings about that workshop, but overall I admit it was pretty effective. Anyway, she also mentioned that there is a need for more LOVE, and spiritual, conscious people in the Philadelphia area. So I do agree, and I recognize a major need for this. (Although I’m not sure the “market” realizes their own needs for this.) But I think that in this point in my life, I need to find more spiritual teachers that can love and support me from a higher level. I am not ready to be supporting the grumpy masses of Philadelphia!  (Maybe just not yet )

That was my rant for the day. I feel a lot better now. Thank you for reading.

xoxoxo

Victoria