Voicemails from Letty

I love my grandma dearly, but there are times when I feel that she is unsettling or disapproving of me, or trying to change me. She left a voicemail that said “Victoria, I just wanted to let you know that there is a job fair at Temple University today. You could go and look for a job where you can make more money.”

This really had me upset, as it was a sign that she was unaware or unsupportive of my efforts to be a full time spiritual entrepreneur, sound healer and reiki practitioner. She was nudging me to get another job. I was hoping to be productive and accomplish things while sitting on the computer at my call center job, but listening to that voicemail pulled me away from the Vortex, and being in a state of self-appreciation. I also realized that the only reason that whatever she was saying had made me upset, was because there was something that resonated with what was already there inside of me. It is true that I feel like I could be more productive and make more money, or the same amount of money in a shorter time than what I do at my current job. And that is something that I am asking the Universe for. But I’ve been feeling a bit stuck lately as I do not feel the desire to move up at my current job, I’m just keeping it to have steady income while I work on reiki. So now I’m using that upset-ness or feeling of wanting to improve and focusing it into my business.

I also realized that the only reason that whatever she was saying had made me upset, was because there was something that resonated with what was already there inside of me. It is true that I feel like I could be more productive and make more money, or the same amount of money in a shorter time than what I do at my current job. (Which I already do when I give reiki sessions!) And that is something that I am asking the Universe for more of. But I’ve been feeling a bit stuck lately as I do not feel the desire to move up at my current job, I’m just keeping it to have steady income while I work on reiki. So now I’m using that upset-ness or feeling of wanting to improve and focusing it into my business. And asking for one new paying client this week. I’m very grateful for my one steady client, that may even turn into a reiki student one day soon!

As I sat reading The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks this morning, I realized that I need to get back to a state of self appreciation and into my Vortex.

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“If you are angry- you are not a Vibrational Match- and you are not in the Vortex.”

“If you are feeling appreciation- you are a Vibrational Match- and you are in the Vortex.”

Once I read that line, I started to cultivate and feel appreciation for my grandma and all she has done for me and given me. She gave me piano lessons as a small child which guided my strong love and appreciation for music today. She took me to Friendly’s for lunch and ice cream sundaes (healthy right?). And she will always love me, no matter what uncensored thoughts come out of her mouth. Then I read on;

“There is no more important object of attention to which you must flow your appreciation than that of self.”

Yesterday when I walked out of the office on to Philadelphia’s beautiful Broad Street, buzzing with excitement, I encountered a friend that I had recently re-met at Sera Phi in West Philly. He was sitting on the corner playing his electric bass with a hat open to receive money. We talked for a bit and I asked him a few questions about his lifestyle, because he looked so free and happy. I asked “Do you have to pay rent?” He said yes I will be gathering the money to do that soon. But he said he knows that is what he is supposed to be doing. Playing music all day every day. He said “Once I committed to doing this, things just fell into place”. And that really resonated with me, as I know that what needs to happen is for me to make a stronger commitment to my business. He described his past experience with driving 2 hours every day to work in Delaware selling BMWs. He admitted that he loved being able to test drive the cars and appreciated the beautiful craft of nice cars. But he still held that he wasn’t a big fan of money- which seems to be a common idea or belief in circles of people that I surround myself with (artists, musicians, healers).

Another quote from the Vortex:

“Many people want to experience more personal wealth at the same time that they are criticizing those who are already experiencing personal wealth”

-“I would like to be rich/ Rich people are depriving poor people of resources”

I also read a portion where Jerry, one of the authors, described his relationship with luxurious cars. “Once I left my criticism of luxury car owners behind, I drove the most expensive car that was made.” And that got me thinking about my own desires when it comes to cars. I often tell myself, I don’t need or desire luxury items. But then I thought, if I were to have a nice car, I would LOVE to have a Tesla! It would be great to be a part of the revolution or evolution of the wide spreading of clean energy.

THEN, I recalled an instance a few weeks back, where I was quietly sitting at my desk at the call center, listening to the vice president of the company talk about securing her very own Tesla car. I remember thinking, oh that’s cool that she’s progressive and getting a Tesla— but at the same time feeling very jealous and anger towards the fact that I was sitting there making $10 an hour and she was some how related to the cause of that.

Reading on, “The negative emotion that you feel when you believe that others are depriving you of something is not about what they have and therefore what you do not have. Your negative emotion, in every case, is about what you are, in the moment of your negative emotion, depriving yourself of receiving.”

I realized that, the Vice President had nothing to do with me applying for and accepting that job. She also is not the only voice that determines how much money we make there. And she certainly is not keeping me there. So I want to continue to learn and practice Self Appreciation and coming into alignment with Source so that I can be abundant in my own special way. I can receive all of MY desires.

To further this goal and journey, I signed up for a workshop with Multidimensional Healer, Bette Hanson on June 5th in Malvern, PA! Check out her website here: Bette Hanson

 

 

 

 

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Dear Victoria, Free Your Mind!

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Article 13 – Universal Declaration of Human Rights

I am writing this letter to myself because I want to bring myself back into connection with Source energy and to my good feeling place. I am not writing about my problems so that I can feel bad about them, but so that I can take a step back and gaze down from a larger perspective. And to the readers out there, maybe you have gone through something similar. (Comment below if you feel me!)

“What you’re referring to as your pain, is simply an aspect of you. A version of you, at some point in time and space, that began to run an energetic distortion.” – The Pleiadians as channeled by Nora Herold

I recently saw an email in my work inbox of my part time job at a call center where I make $10.00 per hour. I received my paycheck today and I made $460.00. The email read; Screen Shot 2016-04-01 at 4.56.56 PM

I was ecstatic and emailed the person immediately. It is a part of my nature to want to have excitement, adventure and spontaneity in my life. I thought it would be wonderful to get paid $15 and come out with almost $500 after one week. I received an email today saying that I was accepted to be an actor in the performance and to return the contract and W9. I got overly excited and happy about my bright and exciting future and rushed home to get to my computer. I asked again if she had seen my previous email regarding my work schedule conflicts. She replied; You must make all of the dates or you can not participate. I started crying and feeling similar to when you are little and run to your room and slam the door and start crying into the pillow because your parents tell you that you can’t do something you wanted to do. I felt this angst toward my job in general. Thoughts were racing through my head of quitting and living the life of a freelance worker. But then I realized, I was the one that signed up for this job in the first place. I was the one that sent in my Resume and Cover Letter and accepted the position. I wanted to have a part time job so that I could focus on my other passions outside of the job; Reiki and Yoga. Of course, fears were also running through my head and thoughts of self-doubt. Fear that I will be stuck in this boring job forever, or that I will never make a real positive impact on the world.  Screen Shot 2016-04-01 at 5.08.16 PM

I took a deep breath and realized that I was placing the blame on external factors for making me feel upset or flustered; job, manager, lack of freedom, low pay rate… Yes these things are all things to be considered for the cause of my frustration, but all in all, I have to bring myself back to the good feeling place and back to my center. Sometimes, I also get flustered with decision making and the fact that “anything is possible”. And that I can create the life I desire. But I like to think that it’s a co-creation between myself and the Universe, as well as other co-creators. So I can try to ease up on every minute decision as if it will change the course of my life; ie. The Butterfly Effect.

The scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever.- Urban Dictionary

That then lead me to click on the definition of The Chaos Theory.

In physics, it’s a tad more complicated. It states all subatomic and nucleonic particles are all united under ONE force, not gravity, but a very powerful force which holds the very essence of protons, electrons and neutrons together. It branches out into every facet of our existence. Infinite correlation, no probability.- Urban Dictionary

This definition made me feel a bit more comforted, as it mentions “ONE force”, which I can relate to Universal Life Energy, or Source. My goal is to stay in alignment with Source as often as possible, and to become more in touch with my own intuition and to learn to follow my gut instincts. And to learn to say No to what is no longer serving me! It would be more fun to participate in the installation, than sit at my boring job. But it’s also nice to have that peace of mind to know that I can pay my rent, do a few things I love, and still have time to work on building my Reiki and Sound Healing business and clients. I could have stressed and asked my manager to make it work, but I’m already very thankful for the requests to be off that he has fulfilled for me.

In more exciting news, here are two of those events that I was able to gain amnesty for! :

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Free Your Mind Conference

I will be attending the FYM conference on Saturday the 16th. It was an expensive ticket, but this is one of the things that I don’t mind spending money on in order to further my career and life purpose.

 

Intuitive Development- Spring Series

I’m excited for the upcoming Intuitive Development-Spring Series with Alex DiFilippo at The Reiki School. I attended a few of the Chakra Balancing workshops with Alex in the fall, and the intuitive readings gave me great guidance and insight to things I may have never realized and life tools I never would have tried otherwise (notably Kundalini Yoga).

I love to watch YouTube videos from the greats like Ralph Smart and Teal Swan. Sometimes I compare myself to them or other spiritual leaders and wish I was further along the path to my dreams. But I always have to remember the quote from Preston Smiles “Stay in Your Lane”. The one good thing about my call center job is that it’s a step up from my retail job. I can actually drink coffee in between calls and use the world wide web to communicate or do research regarding my Divine Life Purpose or whatever interests me at the moment.

For now, I can let go and trust that, with my own perseverance and the Divine Order of the Universe, things will work out eventually.

Peace & Love

Sincerely,

Victoria

 

New Moon, Letting go

DSC04118-Exposure copyI just got done another Kundalini yoga class with Marilyn at the Healing Arts Collective. The first time I went to the class, the chanting and singing and repetitive motions were new and I had to open my eyes to make sure I was doing it correctly. I still had to open my eyes tonight to see some of the movements, but I also practiced closing my eyes and going at my own pace (as Marilyn told us to do). And it’s interesting because part of the meditation was about guidance.

And I just wanted to mention that one of the reasons I started going to Kundalini yoga was because of a sacral chakra balancing/healing workshop that I went to a few months ago with Alexandra D. at The Reiki School + Clinic. Lately as I have been walking and biking around the city I’ve been noticing tons of Psychic readers and their store signs and advertisements. But from my experience with these types of readers, they aren’t really the most beneficial to me. I am only saying this because I want to recommend Alexandra as an intuitive reader.

Anyway, after the Awaken Fair, another healer mentioned my blockage in my throat chakra. This was no surprise as other healers have mentioned it before. But all I can do is slowly and patiently keep working on it. In the ReikiSound class, we have been learning to use the voice for healing purposes. In one exercise, we did a partner exercise where we read the phrase

“{First Name} I unconditionally love, trust and support you, just the way you are in body… mind… spirit and in sound …light…love.”- Natalie Bliss, ReikiSoundBliss.com

We practiced reading it without consciously sending reiki and the second time we read it while letting our voice carry the reiki to our partner. My partner was Natalie and she mentioned that she noticed the way my voice changed the second time, and it sounded like my voice was flowing out of me more naturally. I even noticed a difference tonight during the kundalini class, as I let the mantras and songs resonate as a way of healing, not trying to sound any particular way. I suppose I naturally try to match the tone of the teacher, but I also think that makes the sound and healing more powerful. I could really feel the energy tonight. And I am so happy about the new moon in Aquarius. I woke up with some pain in the left side of my neck. During the class tonight, I remembered that I should go back to my parents house and grab the Mind Body Connection book by John Sarno that I still have to read. Of course I have so much to read. But as I am on this healing journey, I wonder how much of physical pain really manifests from mental or emotional pain. It may have been the way I slept, but I also wasn’t feeling 100% last night. So anyway, this is just something that I want to continue to explore.

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I also learned from this diagram, that the associated chakra for my sign (Sagittarius) is the Zeal Point chakra, located near the top of the spine and the occipital lobe area. Another source said that the chakra associated with Sagittarius is the third eye. But I think the third eye chakra and the Zeal Point chakra are closely related. I am very grateful that my teacher Natalie is letting each person in the ReikiSound class borrow a singing bowl for the week. I found a bowl that “sings” a G# which is the note associated with the Zeal Point and Sagittarius. It has been working wonders for me (or rather we have been co-creating wonderfully). And I think with the help of that frequency entering my life I was able to have some nice visualizations during the kundalini class. I do want to work on trusting my inner guidance and loving myself more and more every day. DSC04115-Exposure copy

Intentions:

I am Communicative, I Am Expressive, I Am Healthy, I Am Abundant

(Inspired by New Earth Connect)

 

 

OM (Orgasmic Meditation); Awaken Wellness Fair; & the Gold Kollar Klub

When I went to the Intro to OM (Orgasmic Meditation) course on Saturday, January 16th, one of the major topics was vulnerability.

On Sunday night (January 17th) at Coda, I saw two of my peers from the Music Industry program at Drexel. One asked us “How have you been?” My co-worker Despina replied “working here, and going to Temple”. I replied, “Working here, and doing a lot of reiki”. I said it with a smile and didn’t mention my fears or admit that I have no clue what I’m doing. Well I do have a “clue” but I don’t have it ALL figured out. So I want to work on being vulnerable and revealing my areas where I need help. Who knows, maybe that person may have advice or a connection that may help me, or be able to relate with their own vulnerability.

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Today, Wednesday, January 27th more things are coming together and I accepted a new job as a Patron Services Associate at Ticket Philadelphia! They’re a ticketing company that provides ticketing solutions for many nonprofit and cultural arts organizations throughout our area; including all of the events at The Kimmel Center, The Philadelphia Orchestra and Longwood Gardens.  So, even though Ticket Philadelphia doesn’t work with the type of music I normally listen to or attend live, I am still very excited to be a part of a ticketing agency and heading back in the direction of the entertainment industry. I’m also excited for the upcoming Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts 2016 (PIFA). Although I won’t be involved in planning it, I may have the chance to score some tickets to events for free. And I still work at Coda on the weekends, so that is my outlet for listening to music from the 21st century. Not that I don’t like the music associated with Ticket Philadelphia, but I think it will be nice to have some variety.

And at the end of my interview for Ticket Philadelphia, the training manager asked; “What is reiki?” I went on to give my usual description, “It’s kind of like acupuncture without the needles…”  ((What do you all think about this description of reiki? Comment below for ideas or suggestions)). Anyway, I was glad that I was able to talk about my outside passions and explain why I was looking for a part time job. During the music video shoot with Jsiadi Noon, he told me he was a member of the “Gold Kollar Klub”. I asked what it was and he explained that it’s not blue collar, nor white collar but GOLD. It’s about working to make money to support yourself while also pursuing passions and dreams. It doesn’t have to be just one or the other. Never giving up on dreams! I don’t think I will have a problem with that… PS, I’m doing another photoshoot tonight with yoga as the theme! I’m looking forward to having fun and being active and creative at the same time.

This morning my dad was extremely nice to take me to Walmart before work to help me purchase a camping cot. We ended up getting the Rio Adventures 1 piece Military Cot. I will be using this as a treatment table for reiki sessions this weekend at the Awaken Wellness Fair! Event though I waited until a few days before the event to start making sure I had everything prepared, my dad came to the rescue and encouraged me to finish getting prepared as soon as possible. I now have a cot and I’m going to use it instead of a massage table because it is a lot lighter to transport. Since I will mostly be doing reiki and sound healing in the near future, there is no need for a massage table since I am not trained in massage (yet). And in Japan, not everyone uses massage tables anyway, so a cot might be a unique alternative to a massage table. I will experiment with this and let you know how it goes!

Distance Healing

From now on, this blog will have a lot to do with healing, since that is my main joy in life.

I received my first distance healing session today at 3pm. I met a man on OkCupid and we have been messaging back and forth for a few weeks. He is Reiki Master, and he is also a musician. In addition to that, he is a beautiful man with muscles and dreadlocks! ^.^ Those are always pluses for me.

The healing session was wonderful. Leading up to it, I imagined that he might call me on the phone or video chat in order to commence the healing. But when it was about time to start, he just sent me a message that said; find a comfortable place to lay down and I will start in about 4 minutes.

Since I have had the 4 Reiki Level 1 attunements, I was easily able to recognize the feeling, or the energy he was sending me. But of course, as a human with a naturally analytical, active mind; I still had thoughts about what I should be doing or how I could best optimize my session.

In one of my hypnosis sessions that I have downloaded on my phone, Kym Tolson said “whether or not you remember what I’m saying, it will still affect your unconscious”. So whenever I’m thinking too much, I just fall back on that and realize that thinking can be futile sometimes. Of course we need to think in order to survive, but I am practicing learning when I need to think versus when my thinking is just feeding the illusion of control.

The most magical thing happened after most of the strong tingling and wave-feelings went away, and I went into more of a visualization meditation state. I felt that I was in the clouds and I saw my healer in angel form. He had giant wings, which were in resting position, but they were still very much there and obvious. His hair was mostly tied back, and he was wearing all white. His wings were bright white with intricate feathers. It was a very positive experience!

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About 20 minutes after he had finished the session, and I had finished my meditation, I looked at my phone to see that he sent me a message. He gave me a call to talk about the session. I described the good effects of Reiki and the feelings I felt from his session. I have had a Reiki session before, so there were some similar aspects but I suppose everyone has their own style. Then, I told him about my experience after the session ended. I wasn’t sure if he was going to say “Ohh… that’s cool I guess….” or think I was a bit crazy. But his true response was “So you have seen my wings… I usually try to keep them hidden.” In that moment I ALMOST teared up a bit. I wasn’t crazy and I felt like I had met an angel.

Today has been wonderful. Angels are real!

Peace & Love

LOVE,

Victoria

So Many Things

Wow, I have so many things to talk about as I sit patiently waiting in the Las Vegas airport waiting for my flight back to Philadelphia on Spirit airlines. I have been awake for more than 50 hours now, as I stayed up all night during EDC, dancing and raving until the desert sunrise.

Back to the present moment… I just finished reading this article regarding the Charleston shooting. I have a weird tendency to go back and forth between avoiding reading or paying attention to any news regarding negative events that do not involve me directly. Of course it is good to pay attention and closely filter what I’m consuming. But I can’t ignore an event like this. With a new presidential election looming, I have doubts and fears, but also hope and optimism for the future of this country.

I used to hate and diss America (and I still poke fun at times). But at the same time, I am very thankful for all of the experiences I have had throughout my life and even the diversity of humans that I have encountered along the way.

I went to EDC (Electric Daisy Carnival) last night. While there were bound to have been those few self centered, self-entitled or ungrateful kids in attendance, the overall vibe was Peace Love Unity Respect!
I know that this tradition (PLUR) is many years old and existed long before I entered the scene. But in the midst of the loud womps and strobe lights, I met a beautiful soul named Shimmer. She had blue hair and tons of candy on her wrists, along with a beautiful handmade perler Om symbol. Which looked kind of like this image below, but better and bluer.
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Anyway, she asked me if I had ever been to a rave before. I wasn’t really sure… But anyway she explained the tradition of PLUR and showed my the hand symbols for Peace Love Unity Respect before placing this piece of EDC themed kandi onto my wrist.
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So even though I am a newcomer, I think PLUR is a very good message to continue to spread throughout the EDM community and scene. And as many people mentioned at the EDM Biz conference, electronic dance music is not going to stop anytime soon, and it can only grow bigger from here. And, relating this back to the Charleston shooting… the kind community of (mostly millenials) and ravers that I met last night gave me hope for the future.

ALSO I am contemplating my experience of partying all night long without a single sip of alcohol or taste of drugs (except for the 2 sugary energy drinks intentionally consumed before and during the event). Growing up, alcohol was never questioned or contemplated It was just something the adults used to have fun. At EDC, some of the music was so powerful that it almost felt like drugs! I mean, I could really feel the vibrations flowing through my body, and I also danced to raise my vibration even higher.
I also noticed this weird phenomenon that kept happening when I would raise my hands high to the sky. Sometimes I would put both in the sky, or sometimes I would put one hand on my heart and one in the sky. I could feel the oscillating waves coming into/ or out of my hands (maybe it was a combination of both). But I felt the same sensations I felt during my last Reiki treatment at the Reiki school (the oscillating waves). So many great insights came to me throughout the night, and I saw the infinite possibilities (once again) that lie in front of me. Now it’s just a matter of choosing what to focus my energies on the most in order for them to grow.

I wonder if any of you Reiki ravers have experienced a similar sensation to what I am describing?

Sincerely,
Victoria

Life~Transitioning Out of College

So, in the midst of watching this video by Ralph Smart, I started crying because of the pressure I feel from my family regarding my post-grad life. There is a lot of stress building up inside of me.

I have been noticing a trend where my parents tell me what they think I should do, or what they would prefer that I do. Lately I have been wondering if there is some deeper psychological reasoning behind this. For example, when I said I would like to be a massage therapist, my mom said, “you could just do that on the side, or for fun”. And when I spent the weekend supporting a Sound Healing Therapist at the Mind Body Spirit Expo, she said “Yes, you will get a job, but I’d rather you don’t sell bowls at a Flea Market.”

I do understand that my college education was worth a lot of money, and that my parents spent money to help put me throught it. But I wish they could be a bit more supportive of my true feelings. Or the idea that doing something I love will make me 100 times more successful. Anyway, the principle I was pondering has something to do with personal regrets, or personal wanting to “live vicariously through me”. I know that she wants me to succeed, but it seems that the advice she gives me is often coming from a place of pressure and worry rather than love and support. I hope I do not sound like a brat. I just want to aim my life in the positive, conscious direction. It is ok to recognize the things that upset me and try to think of a solution.

And my mom is not the only person that has been bothering me lately. My uncle (her brother) as well. He works for a large oil company and he is a very intelligent engineer. I love him, but I never say it because he has never said it to me. Also, he is very uptight and likes to interrogate family members sometimes. After watching this video though…:

I was feeling pretty good about my whole uncle situation. I was telling myself that he wants the best for me, but he always tells me to apply for 50 jobs, and that I should have already applied to 50 jobs by now. Well after watching the video, I learned that “we have the power to choose whether or not we want to invite this person into our temple, which is essentially, within ourselves.” So yes, I wholeheartedly agree and I felt very empowered when I heard this.

But on the other hand, everything that Ralph says is ideal, and I am slowly transitioning to new life principles and ways of living. But I guess I have to be a bit more patient. Right now I am kind of like a lost dog, because I am still under the financial wing (or paw?) of my parents. And since they helped me with my college education, I do feel the need to please them or satify them at least a little bit. I need to hear them out at least. — I am super excited to be starting this book called “You Are a Badass – How to stop doubting yourself and start living an awesome life” by Jen Sincero. In the Introduction she says “This is about getting mighty clear about what makes you happy and what makes you feel the most alive, and then creating it instead of pretending you can’t have it. Or that you don’t deserve it. Or that you’re a greedy egomaniacal fathead wanting more than you already have. Or listening to what Dad and Aunt Mary think you should be doing.”  As you can see, that last line really spoke to me.

I am also in an Intro to Eastern Philosophy class where we have recently covered the philosopher Mengzi. Mengzi believed that all people had essentially good seeds inside of them at birth, but it is a matter of a combination of nature and nurture (and even self nurture) that cause these seeds to grow. So, I always try to see the good in people that I come across in my daily life.

BUT it is REALLY HARD when it is my own family members, and I feel like I do not really belong. When I went to a Tantra Wisdom workshop called Free the Emotions a few months back, I asked the teacher why she came here from California. She said that she came here to take care of her dying mother. And meanwhile, she was also doing her work. I had mixed feelings about that workshop, but overall I admit it was pretty effective. Anyway, she also mentioned that there is a need for more LOVE, and spiritual, conscious people in the Philadelphia area. So I do agree, and I recognize a major need for this. (Although I’m not sure the “market” realizes their own needs for this.) But I think that in this point in my life, I need to find more spiritual teachers that can love and support me from a higher level. I am not ready to be supporting the grumpy masses of Philadelphia!  (Maybe just not yet )

That was my rant for the day. I feel a lot better now. Thank you for reading.

xoxoxo

Victoria