Struggle

“When a butterfly is ready to emerge from its chrysalis, it chews a tiny hole in one end and forces its stunning new form through the small orifice.

Within this “struggle” of emergence, liquids from deep inside the butterfly’s body are passed into the capillaries of its wings, then harden, to ensure the strength and capability required for a butterfly to survive and fly.

When denied of this “struggle”, the butterfly dies.

When you are struggling, rest easy in the understanding that you are a warrioress, dedicated to the ripened rewards of a proper initiation.” -excerpt from Miss Ascentia 2010

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Before I even left for Burning Man I was already preparing for the “decompression” that I had previously heard about. I planned to stay an extra night in San Francisco before flying home. I stayed one night at the Green Tortoise hostel where I was welcomed by a fellow burner. “Welcome back to the world we don’t want to live in,” she said. I nodded with a begrudging smile to show my empathy, but deep down, I felt excited to be back in the real world. Of course, I had a life transforming experience and I knew I would be counting down the days until my next opportunity to gather in community. But I was also excited to “make my life more like Burning Man”~ inspired by the article “5 Ways to Make Your Life More Like Burning Man“. I must have loved my trip so much that I missed my flight home from the Oakland airport. Luckily the Spirit Airlines agent booked me a free flight for the next day, but I still had to find a place to stay that evening. Looking in my bank account, I felt a bit hopeless, but I also felt very abundant at the same time. Being on the playa, I truly felt the expression “The playa provides”. Being in a healing camp and gifting out 4 hours of healing sessions every day was very fulfilling. Since Black Rock City is a city, I treated my position sort of like a job, (but way more fun!) because there was much more freedom than what is expected in the “default” world. There are still rules in Black Rock City and in my camp, as well as guidelines for healing~ like don’t be naked but you can be topless. And the amount of healing that I was there to support was a great practice for me, and showed me what my real life could look like. Not having to worry too much about time or money made everything flow. I gave out my energy in sessions, and then was ready to receive whatever the playa had to offer. It was nice to not have to worry about money in BRC, but it also transformed my relationship with money in the real world, (which I am always working on improving). I used to feel hesitant or nervous about charging money for my healing sessions. But now I realize that money is just energy. And doing my life’s work will create more abundance in the long run.

“In the darkness we are illuminated, only in the darkness can we see the stars, but sometimes the light can blind you, so don’t always ignore what doesn’t make you feel good”- Ralph Smart, Infinite Waters

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