I am writing this letter to myself because I want to bring myself back into connection with Source energy and to my good feeling place. I am not writing about my problems so that I can feel bad about them, but so that I can take a step back and gaze down from a larger perspective. And to the readers out there, maybe you have gone through something similar. (Comment below if you feel me!)
“What you’re referring to as your pain, is simply an aspect of you. A version of you, at some point in time and space, that began to run an energetic distortion.” – The Pleiadians as channeled by Nora Herold
I recently saw an email in my work inbox of my part time job at a call center where I make $10.00 per hour. I received my paycheck today and I made $460.00. The email read;
I was ecstatic and emailed the person immediately. It is a part of my nature to want to have excitement, adventure and spontaneity in my life. I thought it would be wonderful to get paid $15 and come out with almost $500 after one week. I received an email today saying that I was accepted to be an actor in the performance and to return the contract and W9. I got overly excited and happy about my bright and exciting future and rushed home to get to my computer. I asked again if she had seen my previous email regarding my work schedule conflicts. She replied; You must make all of the dates or you can not participate. I started crying and feeling similar to when you are little and run to your room and slam the door and start crying into the pillow because your parents tell you that you can’t do something you wanted to do. I felt this angst toward my job in general. Thoughts were racing through my head of quitting and living the life of a freelance worker. But then I realized, I was the one that signed up for this job in the first place. I was the one that sent in my Resume and Cover Letter and accepted the position. I wanted to have a part time job so that I could focus on my other passions outside of the job; Reiki and Yoga. Of course, fears were also running through my head and thoughts of self-doubt. Fear that I will be stuck in this boring job forever, or that I will never make a real positive impact on the world.
I took a deep breath and realized that I was placing the blame on external factors for making me feel upset or flustered; job, manager, lack of freedom, low pay rate… Yes these things are all things to be considered for the cause of my frustration, but all in all, I have to bring myself back to the good feeling place and back to my center. Sometimes, I also get flustered with decision making and the fact that “anything is possible”. And that I can create the life I desire. But I like to think that it’s a co-creation between myself and the Universe, as well as other co-creators. So I can try to ease up on every minute decision as if it will change the course of my life; ie. The Butterfly Effect.
The scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever.- Urban Dictionary
That then lead me to click on the definition of The Chaos Theory.
In physics, it’s a tad more complicated. It states all subatomic and nucleonic particles are all united under ONE force, not gravity, but a very powerful force which holds the very essence of protons, electrons and neutrons together. It branches out into every facet of our existence. Infinite correlation, no probability.- Urban Dictionary
This definition made me feel a bit more comforted, as it mentions “ONE force”, which I can relate to Universal Life Energy, or Source. My goal is to stay in alignment with Source as often as possible, and to become more in touch with my own intuition and to learn to follow my gut instincts. And to learn to say No to what is no longer serving me! It would be more fun to participate in the installation, than sit at my boring job. But it’s also nice to have that peace of mind to know that I can pay my rent, do a few things I love, and still have time to work on building my Reiki and Sound Healing business and clients. I could have stressed and asked my manager to make it work, but I’m already very thankful for the requests to be off that he has fulfilled for me.
In more exciting news, here are two of those events that I was able to gain amnesty for! :
I will be attending the FYM conference on Saturday the 16th. It was an expensive ticket, but this is one of the things that I don’t mind spending money on in order to further my career and life purpose.
I’m excited for the upcoming Intuitive Development-Spring Series with Alex DiFilippo at The Reiki School. I attended a few of the Chakra Balancing workshops with Alex in the fall, and the intuitive readings gave me great guidance and insight to things I may have never realized and life tools I never would have tried otherwise (notably Kundalini Yoga).
I love to watch YouTube videos from the greats like Ralph Smart and Teal Swan. Sometimes I compare myself to them or other spiritual leaders and wish I was further along the path to my dreams. But I always have to remember the quote from Preston Smiles “Stay in Your Lane”. The one good thing about my call center job is that it’s a step up from my retail job. I can actually drink coffee in between calls and use the world wide web to communicate or do research regarding my Divine Life Purpose or whatever interests me at the moment.
For now, I can let go and trust that, with my own perseverance and the Divine Order of the Universe, things will work out eventually.
Peace & Love